Rummy’s Epiphany

BAGHDAD (Reuters) – Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld on Saturday staggered around the Iraqi capital mumbling to himself and appeared to be in a confused daze.

When pressed repeatedly by reporters Rumsfeld finally said it was up to Iraqis and not himself to control violence unleashed since the fall of Saddam Hussein.

Earlier, Rumsfeld praised what he said was the “the wonderful cakewalk start” to rebuilding Iraq when he addressed U.S. and Polish soldiers among the ruins of the ancient city of Babylon, even as guerrillas attacked his troops and angry protesters marched for jobs.

“Would you SOB’s stop shooting at us until I’m through speaking.  Jezus Christ!.”

Rumsfeld then went on to blame the Iraqi people for his own bad planning and foolish pre-war optimism.

“Instead of pointing fingers at the security forces of the coalition because there are acts of violence taking place against Iraqi people in this country, it’s important for you bastards in Iraq to step up and take responsibility.

God Damn it.”

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