Sen. Frist Supports Constitutional Amendment Banning Gays from Performing Cat Autopsies

Washington (IWR Satire) – Senator Bill Frist announced that he was in favor of a constitutional amendment against homosexuals performing cat autopsies.

Sen. Bill Frist, R-Tennessee, said the Supreme Court’s decision last week on gay sex threatens to make the American home a place where criminality is condoned.

“I have this fear that this zone of privacy that we all want protected in our own homes is gradually — or I’m concerned about the potential for it gradually being encroached upon, where criminal activity within the home would in some way be condoned.”

“And I’m thinking of — whether it’s prostitution or illegal cat autopsies performed in the home — to have the courts come in, in this zone of privacy, and begin to define it gives me some concern.”

“I very much feel that killing a cat is a sacrament, and that sacrament should extend and can extend to that legal entity of a union between — what is traditionally in our Western values has been defined — as between a heterosexual man and his cat. So I would support the amendment,’ Frist said on ABC’s “This Week.”

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