CRAWFORD, TX (IWR News Parody) – George Bush and Marc Racicot this morning unveiled a new Bush-Cheney 2004 campaign poster on jobs.
“Unlike those lying Democrats, I hereby make this full employment pledge to American workers: A McJob for every McPerson!
Sure your high paying factory job may have went south to Mexico, or your hi-tech career may have been outsourced to India, but I guarantee you there will always be exciting low wage McJobs available in this country!
And just to make sure there are enough Mcjobs for y’all, I am going to send my ‘Full Employment’ bill to Congress.
This first thing this legislation will do is lower the current minimum wage to half its current value.
Shazam!!!! More jobs!
The next jobs friendly thing this bill will do is make business exempt from providing health and unemployment benefits!
Shazam!!!! More jobs!
Marc tells me, for example, that his rich oleogarch [sic] friends can’t find decent English speaking dishwashers or caddies these days.
Marc says his friends would be more than happy to give an unemployed engineer a job, especially if they don’t have to worry about wages, benefits and whatnot.
That’s what’s compassionate conservatism is all about.
So there you have it.
While the Democrats just play lip service to creating new jobs, I have a real plan for full employment for all Americans.
Thank you and may God bless crony capitalism,” said Mr. Bush.