Ashcroft Issues Indulgences to White House Staff

WASHINGTON (IWR Satire) — Attorney General John Ashcroft on Wednesday issued what he called ‘Justice Department Indulgences’ to the entire White House staff for any crimes that may have been committed since 1965.

“Today in my weekly broadband chat with Jesus Christ, I was told to forgive the White House and all of its staff from any laws that may have been broken and to give each person this special orange indulgence card.

‘Forgive them John, my son, and don the vestments of the Archbishop of Canterbury,’ He typed to me in His moderated AOL chat room.

The Lord then told me to tell the press, and especially ‘that Krugman fellow’, that there is no need for any independent prosecutors,” said Mr. Ashcroft.

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