Washington (IWR Satire) – President Bush today announced to the world that he has received a new version of the Ten Commandments directly from God. “God has chosen me to lead the people of this here earth to a new righteous order, and a new set of rules to live by — The Neo-Con Ten Commandments,” said Mr. Bush to an adoring press.
The Official White House
Neo-Con Ten Commandments
Exxonodus 20:1-17
- “Thou shalt have no other gods before me except for oil, stocks, bonds, real estate, guns, expensive clothes, tax cuts or Leo Strauss.”
- “Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image that is not approved by Karl Rove.”
- “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain except while watching sporting events or when some liberal traitor makes fun of you.”
- “Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy by controlling all spin on Sunday morning talk shows.”
- “Honor thy father and thy mother by settling old scores.”
- “Thou shalt not kill or convict Republicans.”
- “Thou shalt not commit adultery with Democrats.”
- “Thou shalt not steal from Republicans.”
- “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor unless he disagrees with your Republican President.”
- “Thou shalt not covet thy Republican neighbor’s house, nor anything that is thy Republican neighbor’s.”