Bush Nominates Mr. Clean For Homeland Security Secretary
WASHINGTON (IWR News Parody) – A clearly agitated President Bush today announced the nomination of Mr. Clean for the Secretary of the Homeland Security Department.
"I told my staff before that I wanted ‘Mr. Clean’ for Homeland Security, and then, they brought me this Kerik dude. Well actually, I picked him, but I looked him in the eye, and he seemed butch enough to me.
Sure, he looked a lot like Mr. Clean, but then I found out that we’d have a better chance getting Jimmy Hoffa nominated than Kerik
So this time, I told Card to get me the real Mr. Clean, you know, the guy who does those cleaning commercials and not some cheap impersonator.
Maybe, I need to make more time making these kind of decisions instead of just shooting from the hip all the time?
No way Jose! I almost had you going then didn’t I?
But I beginning to think I have goddamn Yankee on my staff," said Bush, who then began swearing under his breath about Rudy Giuliani.
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Internet Weekly Report First Issued on 12/15/2001, Copyright Internet Weekly Report 2001-2004.