DeLay Defends Texas Conservatives Against Liberal ‘Hate-Speech’
SUGAR LAND, TX (IWR Satire) — House Majority Leader Tom DeLay accused leading Democrats on Wednesday of "hate-speech" against his conservative supporters.
"In Texas, we don’t eat that stinky French cheese that you liberal sodomites love so much.
Down here, we eat real American food like barbequed whole hogs stuffed with jalapeño flavored Spam, MoonPies, and Popsicles. And let’s get one thing straight, we don’t call it cuisine. We call it grub.
And another thing while I’m at it, I wish you devil worshipping liberals would stop your hate-speech about Republican inbreeding in my Texas district.
Down here smarty pants, we don’t believe in your evil-lution.
Shoot, we even have a special tax credit for conservatives who marry their first cousins.
That’s why we don’t allow that Darwinian double-talk in our kids text books.
Hell, if we let the schools teach those kind of lies, the next thing you know people will start wanting to join labor unions and whatnot.
So why don’t you liberal extremist appeasement bastards get a clue and leave this country, and go live with your hero, Fidel Castro, and leave us good old boys alone," said a rather petulant Mr. DeLay.
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Internet Weekly Report First Issued on 12/15/2001, Copyright Internet Weekly Report 2001-2003.