WASHINGTON (IWR News Parody) – The Bush Campaign today called the most recent Osama bin Laden video tape "a hoax created by MoveOn.org".
Here are quotes on the disputed tape from senior members of the Bush campaign:
Marc Racicot: "If we really thought Osama bin Laden was still alive, we would have mentioned his name at least once in our Republican Convention or in our commercials, don’t you think? You have to give us some credit though for mentioning Saddam Hussein and 9/11 about a million times."
Karl Rove: "Our transformation of the image of Osama bin Laden into Saddam Hussein is a reality that our supporters must continue to embrace regardless of how many videos to the contrary are produced by our liberal enemies like MoveOn.org."
Donald Rumsfeld: "Wait a friggin’ minute. We captured Saddam Hussein last year, didn’t we? This guy has got to be an imposter."
Karen Hughes: "That’s why Bushie needs four more years, so he can win the war on terrorism that he bungled by letting Osama bin Laden off the hook in Tora Bora in the first place! It makes sense to me anyway."
George W. Bush: "This is all John Kerry’s fault. I would have caught Osama already if wasn’t for Kerry’s defeatism."
Dick Cheney: "Who you going to believe: Kerry or Halliburton? My money comes from, I mean, is on Halliburton. Did I say Halliburton? That’s weird, I meant to say Tommy Franks."
Arnold Swarzenegger: "We’re not afraid of any bearded girlie men, who wear pill box hats and dresses, anyway!"
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Internet Weekly Report First Issued on 12/15/2001, Copyright Internet Weekly Report 2001-2004.