Rumsfeld Marries Himself in San Francisco Civil Ceremony
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SAN FRANCISCO (IWR News Parody) In an event dubbed by local news media as the first heterosexual-gay marriage, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld exchanged wedding vows with himself today in a civil ceremony at San Francisco’s City Hall.
"It’s no secret that I largest ego on Planet Earth and that I am deeply in love with myself. So, yesterday morning as I was admiring my image in the bathroom mirror, I said: ‘Rummy Baby, let’s get hitched’. The next thing you know, I fly to San Francisco, and then we’re married," said beaming Rummy.
Social scientists say that Mr. Rumsfeld represents a large segment of the population that is so wildly narcissistic and egotistical that they should have no business marrying other people regardless of their sexual orientation. These people instead should be encouraged to marry themselves.
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Internet Weekly Report First Issued on 12/15/2001, Copyright Internet Weekly Report 2001-2003.