Scientists Find Many Parallels Between Ancient Phallus And The Bush Presidency
ULM, Germany (IWR News Parody) – A sculpted and polished phallus found by researchers in a cave in Germany is the earliest stone phallus on record. In addition, these same scientists found that there are many remarkable similarities between this ancient stone dildo and the Bush administration.
The stone object, which is dated to be about 28,000 years old, was buried in the popular Hohle Fels Cave near Ulm, which is also consistent in age with Bush’s simian neo-conservative philosophy.
Its life size suggests it was used as a sex aid by its Ice Age makers, which parallels techniques used to torture prisoners at Guantanamo and Abu Ghraib, scientists report.
"Once we assembled the fragments, we all were struck by how much the phallus reminded us all of the obnoxious personality, presidency and policies of George W. Bush.
In fact, Mr. Bush often behaves in public like, what my German colleagues would call, a dickenkopf
In the States, we have another word which describes our president quit succinctly, but unfortunately it cannot be printed in this magazine," said Dr. Menlo, the head of MIT’s Anthropology department.
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Internet Weekly Report First Issued on 12/15/2001, Copyright Internet Weekly Report 2001-2005.