WASHINGTON (IWR News Parody) – Former White House press secretary Ari Fleischer confirmed in an interview on CNN Live Today with Daryn Kagan that President Bush does indeed live inside a giant plastic bubble in the Oval Office.
Fleisher said the purpose of the bubble is to protect Mr. Bush’s thin epidermis from being disturbed by any sort of accountability, criticism or negative feedback. The former press secretary also confirmed that the bulge on Mr. Bush’s back is really just part of his portable bubble suit.
This confirms what many pundits had suspected after the President’s string of poor performances in the State-of-the-Union speech, his Porky Pig style press conference in April and especially his recent weird behavior in the presidential debates.
Ms. Kagan then cut the interview short and complained on the air that now her pot bellied Brown Shirted boyfriend Rush Limbaugh would be so upset with this scandalous news that he would not be able to watch that anti-Kerry movie on the Sinclair network as they had planned to later this evening.
"Damn it, Ari! You just ruined my whole friggin’ evening! When Rush gets home tonight, he will pop a couple of Quaaludes, brood for about ten minutes or so and then just stare at the wall like zombie for the rest of the night," said a bawling Kagan.
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Internet Weekly Report First Issued on 12/15/2001, Copyright Internet Weekly Report 2001-2006.