Lynne Cheney Hospitalized For Acute Simulated Outrage Attack
ARLINGTON, VA (IWR News Parody) – Vice President Dick Cheney’s wife Lynne was hospitalized today in the George McClellan Memorial Psychiatric Clinic for an acute attack of simulated outrage.
According to her aids, the episode started when John Kerry referred to Mrs. Cheney’s daughter as a lesbian in Wednesday’s presidential debate.
"How dare that skinny assed liberal commie bastard call my naive little 34 year old daughter a lesbian! It’s a red herring, ah, I mean, outrage!
Only Dick and I are allowed to call her that, and its a cheap tawdry political trick if anyone else does. It just makes me want to puke a stinking stack of gay marriage certificates for Christ sakes!
How dare that extremist, left of the mainstream, liberal, liberal, liberal, goddamn Catholic, SOB tell the truth about my darling little girl," pleaded Ms. Cheney to the gaggle of ersatz reporters assembled by Rupert Murdock at the Clinic.
Ms. Cheney was then sedated with placebos and kept under observation by faux psychiatrist Mary Matalin
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Internet Weekly Report First Issued on 12/15/2001, Copyright Internet Weekly Report 2001-2004.