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Internet Weekly Report – Issue 18


Humor and News


PG = Adults over  17)

Parody Archive

Bert is Evil(PG)

Bob’s Fridge Door

Borowitz report.com

Bushism of the Day

Capitol Steps


Enron-ron-ron Song

Enron V-Mail System

Funny Times

Humor In The News

Ironic Times

Infinite Jest

Landover Baptist


Mark Fiore



Three Stooges

Too Much Coffee Man


Enska’s Home Page

Daily News

BBC News (UK)

Boston Globe

CS Monitor

Guardian (UK)

Los Angeles Times

New York Times


Times (UK)

Washington Post

Washington Times

Bush Gets Another White Elephant

German opposition candidate Edmund Stoiber gives President Bush a white elephant to go with his other white elephant, the missile defense system.

The Week in Humor and News

www.internetweekly.org    Annova reports that researchers in New Zealand have discovered that Couch potatoes ‘are created in the womb’.  

Did they think they were found under a cabbage leaf like Jethro Bodine?   

Anyway, it looks like if your mother ate a lot non-nutritious junk food when she was pregnant  that could explain why you are such a worthless  couch spud.    

Couch potatoes all over New Zealand celebrated on the news that they now longer have to feel guilty for pigging out and watching sports all day on TV. 

"Now  the sedentary can have their potato chips and eat them too." said Deepak Chopra .  "It’s like a karma free zone, dude!" said California couch potato transplant Biff Thomas.

You would think it would be hard to find humor in current Mideast conflict, but the Onion had an Arafat Under Fire Survey that is worth checking out.

Unlike Slick Willie, New York city Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg was quoted in ads saying he inhaled pot and liked it.   

Here is the NORML Mayor Bloomberg ad.  BTW, did you know that Zobgy Poll found the Majority of Americans Oppose US Marijuana Policies.

Have you ever thought about going to a karaoke bar, but were afraid the you might be embarrassed to death?  Well the LA Times has compiled: The Top 10 Tips to Take the Scare Out of Karaoke.

Did you know that Saddam Hussein has an Official Fan Club?  I think it’s right next to the Official Site Of "The Lawn Chair Balloon Pilot"

The Simpsons apologize to Rio de Janeiro for offending Brazilian tourist officials.

Knox News reports  the ‘South Park’ staple Kenny bites the dust, for good this time. 

Have you tried out the new Google Poetry Generator?   It even does a haiku based on a Google query.

The Parody Newsline

The Borowitz Report had a story on Saddam Hussein allowing U.N. Weapons inspectors back into Iraq.

The Onion reported that Nevada is going to phase out laws altogether. 

Whitehouse.org had this scoop:  President announced new sentencing guidelines for nationalized Capital Punishment

Animation of the Week

Plickey + Muto: Trip

Plickey + Muto: Lost

Oil Vay!

Spoofs of the Week

www.theonion.com.    The Onion was in top form again this week taking a shot at Suburban Dads and at their offspring.

Suburban Dad Cracks Wise In Church Parking Lot: ‘Dude, Where’s My Car?’ Quips Dad

Ask A Guy Trying To Describe What He Saw On Nova Last Night

The Onion In History 1942

www.landoverbaptist.org.   See how well you do on the new Landover Baptist quiz and facts for kids.

The Bible Fact Quiz

The Bible Doesn’t Mention an Ice Age

Sharon and Powell Play Patty Cake

Ariel Sharon and Colin Powell play patty cake to  to demonstrate their commitment to the peace process.   Mr. Sharon appears to have been spending a lot of time with the baker’s man recently.

Political Humor

Torture is watching MSNBC

Barry Crimmins, Working for Change (4/09/2002)

Security Branch

Art Buchwald, Washington Post (04/09/2002)

The Baby Bust

Maureen Dowd, NY times (04/10/2002


Snopes Rumors of the Week

  1. Does a person’s fingernails and hair continue to grow after his death?

  2. Did a man attempting suicide successfully remove his inoperable brain tumor?


Computing and Technology


CNET Tech. News



Register (UK)

Silicon Valley

Snopes Netlore

Snopes Additions

Technology Review

Wired News


Business Week


CBS MarketWatch

Financial Times (UK)



Red Herring

The Week in Computing

www.internetweekly.org   If you ever wondered where all those old computers go, you need to check out OLD-COMPUTERS.COM.  Here is what the first true portable computer, the HC 20 looked like.   It actually had a small printer in it!

However, there seems to be one top-secret Mac found in some guys barn that is not in the Old Computer Museum.

Microcontent News asks the question: Are Bloggers Journalists?   In this article, the author argues that bloggers need a code of ethics.   My question is why should bloggers be held to a higher standard than cable news?

An "almost famous" Elvis impersonator is The King in a domain name dispute.   Also, the British America Tobacco Group was smoked in dispute over the kool.com domain

CNN has an interesting article on inventor Edward H. Amet and Thomas Edison: Battle of inventors: Who was first?

IWR Hypocrisy Award

CNN, which is owned by AOL, has the gall to do a story on Chat rooms a haven for hackers.  First,  IRC has channels not chat rooms.   Second, unlike AOL, IRC is free.  Third, it used by many people for various public non-AOL purposes the least of which are for hacking.

CNN also reports that the Internet is blamed for one in ten marital breakups in the UK.  Could it be that all is not well in those AOL chat rooms?

Security, Hacks and Patches

A trio of MS-Office security vulns

Register (04/09/2002)

Internet Auction Fraud Is Top Consumer Complaint – FBI

Newsbytes (04/10/2002)

Aphex E-mail Worm Has A Way With IRC, Instant Messenger

Newsbytes (04/10/2002)

Microsoft Patches Ten New Security Bugs In IIS

Newsbytes (04/10/2002)


A unified theory of software evolution

Salon (04/08/2002)

$1 million mathematical mystery "solved"

New Scientist (04/09/2002)

Google tests search tools for developers

CNET.com (04/12/2002)

Awareness: Mystery of the Mind

Wired (04/15/2002)

The Politics of Computing

New breed spam filter slashes junk email

New Scientist (04/09/2002)

Cyanide Anarchist a Hacker, Too?

Wired (04/09/2002)

Andreessen [Mr. Mozilla]: Copy protection efforts are doomed

Mercury News (04/09/2002)

Rising Costs of Free Web E-Mail

Wired (04/12/2002)

Ashcroft Calls For Web-Based Terrorist Data System

Newsbytes (04/12/2002)

Bottom Line

Analysts Accused Of Touting Tech ‘Junk’ To Boost Profits

Newsbytes (04/09/2002)

Attack of the Zombie Rembrandts

Technology Review (May 2002 Issue)

Inkjet printers used to "spray on" displays

New Scientist (04/12/2002)

Apache 2.0 Beats IIS at Its Own Game

Eweek (04/15/2002)


Britons dash for broadband

BBC News (04/13/2002)


Science and Health

Science News

BBC Sci/Tech

CNN Sci/Tech

Nature News

New Scientist

NY Times: Science

Science Daily

Sky and Telescope

The Week in Science and Health

www.internetweekly.org   The award winning PBS Science program, Nova, is going to have in-depth special on Why the WTC Towers Fell scheduled for April 30th.  

The US military has created an indestructible sandwich.   The so-called gut bombs are preserved pita sandwiches that have a shelf life of 6 months to 3 years without the need of refrigeration. 

In a related story, BBC News reported that the US is looking to create robo-soldiers.  I wonder if the robo-solders will be able to survive eating those indestructible sandwiches?

Human Origins and History

Lost city found off Indian coast

BBC News (04/11/2002)

Why humans are brainier than chimps

BBC News (04/12/2002)

Chimps May Have Something to Tell Us

LA Times (04/12/2002)

Scientists link bald men to notorious short-haired lion

The Times (04/15/2002)

Men Regain Evolutionary Driver’s Seat

Science Daily (04/15/2002)


Tea ‘could help prevent cancer’

BBC News (04/09/2002)

Researchers Study Robo Pets for the Elderly

ABC News (04/09/2002)

Telling the Threatening Tumors From the Harmless Ones

NY Times (04/09/2002)

Herb [St. Johns wort] ineffective as anti-depressant

BBC News (04/10/2002)

Oils in Fish Cut Risk of Sudden Death

Washington Post (04/10/2002)

Spinal cord recovery hurdle cleared

Nature (04/11/2002)

New enzyme a step towards exercise pill

New Scientist (04/11/2002)

Black Death ‘was not plague’ say experts

Ananova (04/12/2002)

24/7 culture poses health risk

BBC News (04/15/2002)

Astronomy and Space

Icy insight into star birth

BBC News (04/09/2002)

All aboard the Venus Express?

BBC News (04/10/2002)

Ugandan garden hit by space junk

BBC News (04/10/2002)

Quark star glimmers

Nature (04/11/2002)

Anomalies hint at magnetic pole flip

New Scientist (04/11/2002)

Neutrino weighed up

Nature (04/11/2002)

Dust from dawn of time

BBC News (04/12/2002)

Asteroids pile up

Nature (04/12/2002)

Environment and Nature

Ants’ Acid Overrunning Oz Crabs

Wired (04/10/2002)

Rainforest breathes out [carbon dioxide]

Nature (04/11/2002)

Climate to change wildlife

Nature (04/11/2002)

The making of a National Park

CS Monitor (04/11/2002)

Chemists Discover Molecule Considered Too Unstable To Exist

Science Daily (04/12/2002)

NOAA: U.S. could soon feel El Niño impact

CNN (04/12/2002)

Bugs clean up nerve agents

Nature (04/12/2002)

Oceans swell towards new El Niño

New Scientist (04/12/2002)

Hydrogen in Earth’s crust ‘could end world’s energy problems’

Ananova (04/14/2002)

China’s Growing Deserts Are Suffocating Korea

NY Times (04/14/2002)

Forest experiment questions greenhouse gas strategy

New Scientist (04/15/2002)

Political Battle Looming Over Superfund Plan

NY Times (04/15/2002)

Social Insects Could Offer Clues About Genetic Conflict

Science Daily (04/15/2002)

Scientists uncover 5,000km-long supercolony of ants

Ananova (04/15/2002)


Politics and Commentary

Political  Commentary

(L = Left; R = Right)

AlterNet (L)

American Prospect

Cursor.org (L)

Mother Jones (L)

Nation (L)

National Review (R)

New Republic(LR)

OpinionJournal (R)

Slate (L)

Smirking Chimp (L)

Tompaine.com (L)

Town Hall (R)

Weekly Standard(R)

WorkingForChange (L)

Favorite Columnists

Art Buchwald

Maureen Dowd

Molly Ivins

Robert Novak

Robert Scheer

News Periodicals


New Yorker





Google News

Guardian Weblog (UK)

Scout Report

Weekly Standard


The Weekly Rant

www.internetweekly.org     I really think the Bush Administration needs to reconsider pressing for human cloning ban.   I think we can all agree that human cloning to produce a genetically identical  human being is morally abhorrent.  However, cloning for stem cell research is something that should not be banned.  There is too much potential good to be gained from this research that could reduce human suffering, e.g.,  Parkinson’s   and Alzheimer’s disease.

Amnesty International reports that the US is a safe haven for torturers.  Torturers must not be evil enough to qualify for special attention especially when they come from the Latin American military that reside in the country.   I guess the Bush Doctrine means that you can do whatever the hell you want to civilians including torture and murder, and it’s just fine with Uncle Sam, as long as, you got that military uniform on and are on the CIA payroll.

In Media Blackout, David Brooks, who is the straight man for the  far right crusader types at the Weekly Standard,  says he gets the real scoop on what is happening in the Palestinian refugee camps from an Israeli Military site.   It’s the Israeli military that has closed the West Bank to journalists in the first place!

Brooks also recommends the far right  "Best of the Web" by spelling flamer James Taranto.  Brooks calls it "a masterful source" for coverage of West Bank.   I guess it is masterful from a corporate oligarchy view.  I guess this means David Brooks is not going to play the straight man anymore especially if he keeps making bad jokes like these highly slanted recommendations.

It’s a damn good thing that Bush Jr. hasn’t taken the advice of  the crusaders, e.g., William Kristol and William Bennett.  Bush at least for the moment has avoided charging head first into the Iraqi windmill unilaterally and setting off a world wide war with Islam.

Bush Administration

Bush’s Unease With Ambiguity

David S. Broder, Washington Post (04/09/2002)

The moral simplifier

Molly Ivins, Work for change (04/09/2002)

Environmentalists Had 48 Hours to Comment to Energy Dept.

DON VAN NATTA Jr., NY Times (04/11/2002)

The White Stuff

PAUL KRUGMAN, NY Times (04/12/2002)

It’s Just What the Spin Doctor Ordered on Oil

ARIANNA HUFFINGTON, LA Times (04/12/2002)

2003 Budget Completes Big Jump in Spending

Glenn Kessler, Washington Post (04/15/2002)

Commentary of the Week

Democrats too wimpy to criticize president’s policies

Mark Shields, Seattle P-I (04/08/2002)

Outside the Box [Flat Tax]

PETE DU PONT, OpinionJournal (04/10/2002)

Pols Roasted Over Pet Pork

Declan McCullagh, Wired (04/10/2002)

Disinformation on Wall Street

Editorial, NY Times (04/11/2002)

There’s Nothing ‘Anti-Life’ About Medical Cloning

Connie Mack, LA Times (04/12/2002)

Where art thou, Dems?

Molly Ivins, Work For Change (04/12/2002)

National Parks Suffering From Lack of Funds

Eric Pianin, Washington Post (04/14/2002)

Veni, Vidi, Venezuela

Editorial, CS Monitor (04/15/2002)

It’s School, Not Prison

Editorial, LA Times (04/15/2002)

100 Death Penalty Errors

Editorial, Washington Post (04/15/2002)


Life Under Siege

ALLEGRA PACHECO, NY Times (04/10/2002)

Letter From Israel: The Filthy War

Sylvana Foa,  Village Voice (04/10/2002)

The brilliant offer Israel never made

David Clark, Guardian (04/10/2002)

Suicide Bombers May Be Shocking, but Dying for the Cause Is Not New

JAMES P. PINKERTON, LA Times (04/11/2002)

‘Nuancing’ the Mideast Dilemma

Mary McGrory, Washington Post (04//14/2002)

The US’s Mideast disconnect

Shibley Telhami, CS Monitor (04/15/2002)

The GOP for Sharon

Robert Novak, Townhall (04/15/2002)

Sharon’s contribution

William F. Buckley, Jr., Townhall (04/15/2002)

Two States

Nicholas Lemann, New Yoker (04/15/2002)

The War on Terror

Is America Abandoning Afghanistan?

BARNETT R. RUBIN, NY Times (04/10/2002)

Dr. Strangebush

US reconsiders nuclear defense shield

New Scientist (04/12/20020


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