LEWISBURG, PA (IWR News Parody) – According to Scott McClelland, President Bush mistakenly thought he was going to see the classic sci-fi thriller Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury, but he instead went to a matinee showing of Michael Moore’s documentary. McClelland said that the President, who doesn’t read newspapers, was unaware of Moore’s satirical movie.
Later on Sunday, Mr. Bush made these comments to reporters.
"You know, I first saw the original Fahrenheit 22 movie when I was AWOL, I mean, on duty in Alabama.
Damn, I was hoping to see fun stuff like books being burned and junk like that, but the only thing being toasted in this film was my ass.
I thought Ashcroft told me they got rid of that stinking seven minute 911 video showing me looking like some dumb muskrat frozen in car headlights. I’m don’t know why everyone thought that was so funny. I sure the hell didn’t think it was.
Still, Karl tells me that there is no such thing as bad publicity. I sure hope he’s right, because right now I’m not so sure I’d vote for myself," said a dazed George Bush.
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Internet Weekly Report First Issued on 12/15/2001, Copyright Internet Weekly Report 2001-2004.