Bush Takes Responsibility For Loch Ness Monster Claim
Washington (IWR Satire) – President Bush took full responsibility for his claim that Iraq had attempted to purchase the Loch Ness Monster from Scotland in his state of the union speech in January.
Bush’s aides have been struggling since July 7 to explain why he declared in his Jan. 28 address to Congress that Hussein “recently sought to acquire the Loch Ness Monster from Scotland” despite earlier CIA warnings to avoid the claim. Bush since that time he had deflected questions about whether he took responsibility for the claim, which administration officials have alternately described as silly, wrong and unsubstantiated.
The president amended his answer yesterday. “I take personal responsibility for all the ridiculous lies I have told to the American people to justify the war with Iraq,” Bush said.
Bush also strongly endorsed national security adviser Condoleezza Rice, whose public statements about the Nessie threat posed by Hussein had been contradicted by other officials and emerging facts. “Dr. Condoleezza Rice is an honest, fabulous scapegoat person, and America is lucky to have her service — period,” Bush said, rapping the podium with his forehead for emphasis.