Internet Weekly Report – Issue 27 – June 17, 2002 – Weblog and News
The World’s Number One Weekly Blog – Issue 27 – Week of 06/17/2002 – Monday Edition Current Issue] [Humor] [Computing] [Science] [Politics] [Parody Archive] [Search] [About] [Daily Blog
Senator Introduces Bill to Create Monument
Washington — The official lapdog of the entertainment industry, Senator Fritz Hollings from South Carolina, today, introduced legislation to authorize building a new obelisk style monument in Washington D.C. to honor himself. "I can think of no other Senator in the last century that has contributed more or worked harder for pork barrel politics in these here United States of America than yours truly," said Hollings. "I know this seems a little egotistical, but I want assure my fellow Americans that I only have myself in mind. This monument will be similar in style to the Washington Monument, but with more of a Hollywood style and influence. The monument itself was designed by my good lobbyist friend, Jack Velenti."
Ashcroft Rolls Out Islamic American Detention Lottery System
Private, Idaho — Attorney General John Ashcroft announced today the new and ‘completely fair detention’ selection system for Islamic Americans. "All followers of that demon possessed Mohammed will receive a randomly assigned lottery number based on their date of birth using our new government lottery machine, which President Bush has nick named ‘Fat Boy’", explained the Attorney General.
"Since the record of our intelligence agencies at capturing terrorists is no better than chance, your government has decided that using lottery numbers would save a lot of man hours and actually be more effective than using the FBI. President Bush will pick the first ten lucky detainee lottery numbers next week. All of the lucky winners will receive a special debriefing and all expenses paid free vacation at Camp Xray for an undisclosed period of time."
Humor and News
Humor/Satire (PG = Adults over 17) Parody Archive Bert is Evil(PG) Blue Brick Bob’s Fridge Door Borowitz report.com Bushism of the Day Chickenhead Capitol Steps ComedyLab (PG) Enron-ron-ron Song Enron V-Mail System Funny Times Humor In The News Ironic Times Infinite Jest Landover Baptist(PG) MadBlast Mark Fiore SatireWire The Blue Brick The Onion(PG) Three Stooges Tom Tomorrow Too Much Coffee Man Whitehouse.org(PG)
Enska’s Home Page
Daily News Ananova (UK) BBC News (UK) Boston Globe CS Monitor Guardian (UK) Los Angeles Times New York Times NPR Times (UK) Washington Post Washington Times
Weblogs/Links Blogdex Google News Google Zeitgeist Guardian Weblog (UK) Lycos 50 Radio.Weblogs.Com Scout Report Weekly Standard
The Week in Humor
UMass researcher finds most people lie in everyday conversation. Interesting study, I think the most revealing fact was that although men and women lie at the same rate, they lie for different reasons. Men lie to make themselves look good. Women, on the other hand, lie to make the person they are talking too look good.
QDB: Top 25 Quotes. (PG) The top 25 quotes from GeekIssues.com. Warning: the language is raw, but it is funny in an absurd juvenile sort of way.
My name’s too rude for MS Passport. MS Passport gives James W. a hard time.
Homer Simpson MP3 "banned" by Fox. The Register breaks the news of Fox banning "Homer Simpson" from paying a tribute to Paul Krassner, a co-founder of the those yodeling yippies way back when. The MP3 is here on Krassner’s site.
Student loses diploma over joke graduation speech. I guess a good sense of humor was not part of the curriculum.
Four and 20 black birds baked in a pie…. Crow pie! Eww!!! That is almost as bad as McDonald’s trialing Spam breakfasts in Hawaii. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam.
What is more Hawt?
(A) Martha Stewart’s insider trading
(B) A Porn star who admits insider trading
(Last Week’s Answer B)
Nuclear Waste Route Atlas. Want to know how far you are from a nuclear waste route?
JunkYard Blog. The caption says it all "Are You Thinking What I’m thinking?".
Radioactive Waste Goes Under Tents. Where else would the government. in its infinite wisdom, put toxic waste?
Naked Le Pen ‘felt like Greek God’. This is not only weird, it’s obscene too.
Rare bird was really a gun say experts. At first, I thought this was funny. But after thinking about, I have come to the conclusion that it really is a sad commentary on our times.
Animation of the Week
If you missed the very funny Triumph the Insult Comic Dog vs. Star Wars, here is a spam free version until BU shuts it down.
Internet Time – Randy Jamison (Wired)
Loya Jirga Jugband – Mark Fiore
The Parody Newsline
FBI AGENT ACCUSED OF PASSING SECRETS TO U.S. SatireWire (06/11/2002)
Body Of Missing Mad Magazine Reporter Found In Blecchistan The Onion (06/12/2002)
Fleischer Discloses Details of GAO Report on White House Vandalism by Outgoing Clinton Staffers Whitehouse.org (06/13/2002)
Remaining U.S. CEOs Make a Break For It SatireWire (06/14/2002)
Bush Proposes Department Of Home Depot Security Bob’s Fridge (June 2002)
2002 SUCKS SO FAR, EXPERT SAYS Borowitz Report (06/16/2002)
TERRORISTS MARRYING FOREST SERVICE WORKERS SatireWire (06/17/2002)
Lost in translation Brian Whitaker, Guardian (06/10/2002)
The Gods of Shopping Joshua Gamson, American Prospect (July)
Jim Henson’s White House Sara Rimensnyder, Reason (06/12/2002)
Taxing One’s Patience Art Buchwald, Washington Post (06/13/2002)
Grandma, what big teeth you have Molly Ivins, WorkingforChange (06/13/2002)
Bob Barr’s Believe It or Not Lloyd Grove, Washington Post (06/13/2002)
The New Business Villains – Four easy steps to the bottom. Chris Suellentrop, Slate (06/14/2002)
‘How stupid is too stupid? Sean Monkhouse YellowTimes (06/14/2002)
Their So-Called Life MICHAEL SKUBE, LA Times (06/16/2002)
Secrets of the Yo-Yo’s Maureen Dowd, NY Times (06/16/2002)
Snopes Rumors of the Week
Did Pat Riley obtain a trademark for the term "three-peat"?
Business Business Week Business2.com CBS MarketWatch Financial Times (UK) Forbes.com Fortune Red Herring
The Week in Computing
Hackers find password from beyond the grave. This is a follow-up of last week’s story.
Netscape 4 Tribute 1997-2002. A spoof tribute to Netscape version 4. Nice graphics, check it out.
Record Biz Has Burning Question. Wired points out the Record Industries dilemma on media copying. While piracy takes sales away, file sharing actually can increase sales. For example, I ended buying a lot of CDs of groups that I found on Napster. I don’t know any other place I would have heard of any of these artists.
McAfee Manufactures Virus Threat. Slashdot asks the question: Is the anti-virus industry out of control with it’s scare tactics?
Memo to Bill Gates. Brother Dan Gillmor writes a nice memo to Mr. Gates.
How Google Searches Itself. Very interesting article on how Google encourages creativity and innovation to keep Google the #1 search engine.
The Geek Zone
Browsing Around for New Targets [Web Standards for Servers] Wired (06/10/2002)
What is a News Aggregator? andXML in academia Dave Winer, Scripting News (06/12/2002)
The Politics of Computing
MS-funded think tank propagates open-source lies The Register (06/10/2002)
Anti-open source ‘whitepaper’ devastated The Register (06/11/2002)
White House Stressing Unorthodox in IT Security Fight TechNews (06/11/2002)
Summit Addresses Threats to Cyberspace TechNews (06/11/2002)
Senators Weigh ICANN’s Future Wired (06/13/2002)
Behind Linux’s Struggle in Gov’t Wired (06/13/2002)
Bush: Be ‘aggressive’ on broadband CNET.com (06/13/2002)
Competition Is Heating Up for Control of .org Domain NY Times (06/15/2002)
2 Tinkerers Say They’ve Found a Cheap Way to Broadband NY Times (06/10/2002)
PDAs cost loadsamoney The Register (06/11/2002)
Will Cable Unplug the File Swappers? Business Week (06/12/2002)
Wal-Mart shipping PCs with Lindows preinstalled The Register (06/14/2002)
Endangered African rhino populations on the increase NewScientist (06/12/2002)
Seed money for future food Nature (06/13/2002)
Elusive Snow Leopard Seen in Rare Photos National Geographic (06/14/2002)
Volcanoes Loom as Sleeping Threat for Millions National Geographic (06/14/2002)
One quarter of world’s Rockhoppers "might have starved" NewScientist (06/14/2002)
Politics and Commentary
Political Commentary (L = Left; R = Right) AlterNet (L) American Prospect (L) Cursor.org (L) Mother Jones (L) Nation (L) National Review (R) New Republic(LR) OpinionJournal(R) Reason (LR) Slate (L) Smirking Chimp (L) Tompaine.com (L) Town Hall (R) Weekly Standard(R) WorkingForChange (L)
Favorite Columnists Art Buchwald Maureen Dowd Molly Ivins Robert Novak Robert Scheer
News Periodicals Atlantic New Yorker Newsweek TIME USNEWS.com
The Weekly Rant
Summer of All Fears. Maureen Dowd hits the nail and the Attorney General on the head in this excellent Op-Ed article.
The Ashcroft slump. Robert Novak. Brother Novak points out that the antics of the Attorney general is causing concern to the Whitehouse and the stock market.
How Big Tobacco nicked terror act. The "patriot" Tom Delay made a nice exception to the patriot act for his good friends in the tobacco industry. Hey we don’t want the world to find out what sleaze tactics big tobacco uses in the other countries.
We won’t deny our consciences. A letter from various entertainment/arts people against the current direction of this war on terrorism.
We Have Nothing to Fear But John Ashcroft Himself
Threat of ‘dirty bomb’ softened Ashcroft’s remarks annoy White House Kevin Johnson, USA Today (06/12/2002)
Ashcroft Hypes a Dirty Bomber: Big, Bad John James Ridgeway, Village Voice (06/12/2002)
Dirty Bomb Tricks [foreign press reaction] June Thomas, Slate (06/12/2002)
John Ashcroft: Minister of Fear Dick Meyer, CBSNews (06/12/2002)
. . . And the Building Richard Cohen, Washington Post (06/13/2002)
Defusing the hype surrounding ‘dirty bomb’ Mark Jurkowitz, Boston Globe (06/13/2002)
The Best of Enemies? Tom Friedman, NY Times (06/12/2002)
Daughters of America: Saudi Arabia holds U.S. citizens hostage. Will President Bush demand their freedom? Featured Article, OpinionJournal (06/13/2002)
Our New Ally: Eritrea could play a vital role in an Iraq attack Joel Mowbray, National Review Online (06/10/2002)
Commentary of the Week
Expanding Without Managing JEFFREY SONNENFELD, NY Times (06/12/2002)
The ‘Big Ear’ Gone Deaf William Safire, NY Times (06/13/2002)
Plutocracy and Politics PAUL KRUGMAN, NY Times (06/14/2002)
Along Via Ferlinghetti, the Beat Goes On George F. Will, Washington Post (06/14/2002)
Citizens, Combatants and the Constitution L.H. Tribe, NY TIMES (06/16/2002)
Even Tougher Love for Welfare Moms BRUCE FULLER, LA Times (06/11/2002)
Fleischer: Bush Didn’t Read EPA Climate Report Guardian (06/11/2002)
Dirty Bombs and Civil Rights Editorial, NY Times (06/12/2002)
British security sources raise doubts over US claims about ‘dirty bomber’ Sengupta and Buncombe, Independent (06/12/2002)
Tax-Cut Cynicism Editorial, NY Times (06/13/2002)
Detaining Americans Part1 Editorial, Washington Post (06/11/2002)
Detaining Americans Part2 Editorial, Washington Post (06/13/2002)
Not in Haste [Homeland Security Changes] Editorial, Washington Post (06/14/2002)
It’s [Homeland] a creepy, morale-sapping word. Let’s drop it. Mickey Kaus, Slate (06/14/2002)
Red Faces in White House Over ’02 Analysis ELISABETH BUMILLER, NY Times (06/14/2002)
White House Seeks a Change in Rules on Air Pollution K. Q. SEELYE, NY Times (06/13/2002)
The Truman Show David Greenberg, Slate (06/13/2002)
Only the U.S. Can Bring About Peace in the Middle East Hubert Vedrine, Washington Post (06/17/2002)
Internet Weekly Report First Issued on 12/15/2001, Copyright Internet Weekly 2001 and 2002. The opinions expressed here are my own. Send feedback, ideas, pictures, hate mail, marriage proposals to Mr. Ed Weekly.
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