Internet Weekly Report
Internet Weekly Report

Internet Weekly Report – Issue 27 – June 17, 2002 – Weblog and News

The World’s Number One Weekly Blog – Issue 27 – Week of  06/17/2002 – Monday Edition

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IWR Satire

Senator Introduces Bill to Create Monument

Fritz HollingsObelisk

Washington — The official lapdog of the entertainment industry, Senator Fritz Hollings from South Carolina, today, introduced legislation to authorize building a new obelisk style monument in Washington D.C. to honor himself.  "I can think of no other Senator in the last century that has contributed more or worked harder for  pork barrel politics in these here United States of America than yours truly,"  said Hollings. "I know this seems a little egotistical, but I want assure my fellow Americans that I only have myself in mind.   This monument will be similar in style to the Washington Monument, but with more of a Hollywood style and influence.  The monument itself was designed by my good lobbyist friend, Jack Velenti."  

Ashcroft Rolls Out Islamic American Detention Lottery System

Ashcroft"Fat Boy"

Private, Idaho — Attorney General John Ashcroft announced today the new and ‘completely fair detention’ selection system for Islamic Americans.  "All followers of that demon possessed Mohammed will receive a randomly assigned lottery number based on their date of birth using our new government lottery machine, which President Bush has nick named ‘Fat Boy’", explained the Attorney General.   

"Since the record of our intelligence agencies at capturing terrorists is no better than chance, your government has decided that using lottery numbers would save a lot of man hours and actually be more effective than using the FBI.   President Bush will pick the first ten lucky detainee lottery numbers next week.   All of the lucky winners will receive a special debriefing and all expenses paid free vacation at Camp Xray for an undisclosed period of time." 


Humor and News


(PG = Adults over  17)

Parody Archive

Bert is Evil(PG)

Blue Brick

Bob’s Fridge Door


Bushism of the Day


Capitol Steps

ComedyLab (PG)

Enron-ron-ron Song

Enron V-Mail System

Funny Times

Humor In The News

Ironic Times

Infinite Jest

Landover Baptist


Mark Fiore


The Blue Brick

The Onion(PG)

Three Stooges

Tom Tomorrow

Too Much Coffee Man

Enska’s Home Page

Daily News

Ananova (UK)

BBC News (UK)

Boston Globe

CS Monitor

Guardian (UK)

Los Angeles Times

New York Times


Times (UK)

Washington Post

Washington Times



Google News

Google Zeitgeist

Guardian Weblog (UK)

Lycos 50


Scout Report

Weekly Standard

The Week in Humor

  • UMass researcher finds most people lie in everyday conversation.   Interesting study, I think the most revealing fact was that although men and women lie at the same rate, they lie for different reasons.  Men lie to make themselves look good.  Women, on the other hand, lie to make the person they are talking too look good. 

  • QDB: Top 25 Quotes. (PG) The top 25 quotes from  Warning: the language is raw, but it is funny in an absurd juvenile sort of way.

  • My name’s too rude for MS Passport.  MS Passport gives James W. a hard time.

  • Homer Simpson MP3 "banned" by Fox.  The Register breaks the news of Fox banning "Homer Simpson" from paying a tribute to Paul Krassner, a co-founder of the those yodeling yippies way back when.  The MP3 is here on Krassner’s site.

  • Student loses diploma over joke graduation speech.   I guess a good sense of humor was not part of the curriculum.

  • Four and 20 black birds baked in a pie….  Crow pie! Eww!!!  That is almost as bad as McDonald’s trialing Spam breakfasts in Hawaii.  Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam.

What is more Hawt?

(A) Martha Stewart’s insider trading


(B) A Porn star who admits insider trading

(Last Week’s Answer B)


Nuclear Waste Route Atlas.   Want to know how far you are from a nuclear waste route?

JunkYard Blog.  The caption says it all "Are You Thinking What I’m thinking?".   

Radioactive Waste Goes Under TentsWhere else would the government. in its infinite wisdom, put toxic waste?

Naked Le Pen ‘felt like Greek God’.   This is not only weird, it’s obscene too.

Rare bird was really a gun say experts.  At first, I thought this was funny.  But after thinking about, I have come to the conclusion that it really is a sad commentary on our times.

Animation of the Week

If you missed the very funny Triumph the Insult Comic Dog vs. Star Wars, here is a spam free version until BU shuts it down.

Internet Time – Randy Jamison (Wired)

Loya Jirga Jugband – Mark Fiore

The Parody Newsline


SatireWire (06/11/2002)

Body Of Missing Mad Magazine Reporter Found In Blecchistan

The Onion (06/12/2002)

Fleischer Discloses Details of GAO Report on White House Vandalism by Outgoing Clinton Staffers (06/13/2002)

Remaining U.S. CEOs Make a Break For It

SatireWire (06/14/2002)

Bush Proposes Department Of Home Depot Security

Bob’s Fridge (June 2002)


Borowitz Report (06/16/2002)


SatireWire (06/17/2002)

Political Humor

Lost in translation

Brian Whitaker, Guardian (06/10/2002)

The Gods of Shopping

Joshua Gamson, American Prospect (July)

Jim Henson’s White House

Sara Rimensnyder, Reason (06/12/2002)

Taxing One’s Patience

Art Buchwald, Washington Post (06/13/2002)

Grandma, what big teeth you have

Molly Ivins, WorkingforChange (06/13/2002)

Bob Barr’s Believe It or Not

Lloyd Grove, Washington Post (06/13/2002)

The New Business Villains – Four easy steps to the bottom.

Chris Suellentrop, Slate (06/14/2002)

‘How stupid is too stupid?

Sean Monkhouse YellowTimes (06/14/2002)

Their So-Called Life

MICHAEL SKUBE, LA Times (06/16/2002)

Secrets of the Yo-Yo’s

Maureen Dowd, NY Times (06/16/2002)


Snopes Rumors of the Week

  1. Did Pat Riley obtain a trademark for the term "three-peat"?
  2. Where Cabbage Patch Dolls modeled on Mutants?


Computing and Technology


CNET Tech. News


Dan Gillmor’s eJournal

Register (UK)

Silicon Valley

Snopes Netlore

Snopes Additions

Technology Review

Wired News


Business Week

CBS MarketWatch

Financial Times (UK)


Red Herring

The Week in Computing

  • Hackers find password from beyond the grave.  This is a follow-up of last week’s story.

  • Netscape 4 Tribute 1997-2002.  A spoof tribute to Netscape version 4.  Nice graphics, check it out.

  • Record Biz Has Burning Question.  Wired points out the Record Industries dilemma on media copying.  While piracy takes sales away, file sharing actually can increase sales.  For example, I ended buying a lot of CDs of groups that I found on Napster.   I don’t know any other place I would have heard of any of these artists.

  • McAfee Manufactures Virus Threat.  Slashdot asks the question: Is the anti-virus industry out of control with it’s scare tactics? 

  • Memo to Bill Gates.  Brother Dan Gillmor writes a nice memo to Mr. Gates.

  • How Google Searches Itself.  Very interesting article on how Google encourages creativity and innovation to keep Google the #1 search engine.

Public Blogging

The Geek Zone

Browsing Around for New Targets [Web Standards for Servers]

Wired (06/10/2002)

What is a News Aggregator? andXML in academia

Dave Winer, Scripting News (06/12/2002)

The Politics of Computing

MS-funded think tank propagates open-source lies

The Register (06/10/2002)

Anti-open source ‘whitepaper’ devastated

The Register (06/11/2002)

White House Stressing Unorthodox in IT Security Fight

TechNews (06/11/2002)

Summit Addresses Threats to Cyberspace

TechNews (06/11/2002)

Senators Weigh ICANN’s Future

Wired (06/13/2002)

Behind Linux’s Struggle in Gov’t

Wired (06/13/2002)

Bush: Be ‘aggressive’ on broadband (06/13/2002)

Competition Is Heating Up for Control of .org Domain

NY Times (06/15/2002)

Bottom Line

2 Tinkerers Say They’ve Found a Cheap Way to Broadband

NY Times (06/10/2002)

PDAs cost loadsamoney

The Register (06/11/2002)

Will Cable Unplug the File Swappers?

Business Week (06/12/2002)

Wal-Mart shipping PCs with Lindows preinstalled

The Register (06/14/2002)

Security, Hacks and Patches

Virus Girl Finds Hacker Boyfriend

Wired (06/12/2002)

Terror concerns spark nuke drug sales (06/12/2002)

X-windows remote DoS with [Mozilla] big fonts

The Register (06/12/2002)

What Do You Want to Patch Today?

Internet News (06/13/2002)

MS security hole extravaganza

The Register (06/13/2002)

Leaky Cyber Borders

Technology Review (June Issue)


Science and Health

Science News

BBC Sci/Tech

CNN Sci/Tech

National Geographic

Nature News

New Scientist

NY Times: Science

Science Daily

SciTech Daily

Sky and Telescope

The Week in Science and Health


Common gene mutation linked to drug addiction

NewScientist (06/10/2002)

Findings Show Exceptional Longevity Runs In Families

ScienceDaily (06/11/2002)

Superbug resistance genes found

NewScientist (06/12/2002)

Futuristic System Brings Vision To Blind

ScienceDaily (06/14/2002)

Urine Test Predicts Alzheimer’s Disease

ScienceDaily (06/14/2002)

Father Time

NY Times (06/16/2002)


Sniffer rats stand up to smuggling

Nature (06/11/2002)

We’re doomed to dither

Nature (06/12/2002)

Musicians have ‘more grey matter’

BBC News (06/17/2002)

Global Warming

African droughts "triggered by Western pollution"

NewScientist (06/12/2002)

Antarctic ice fringe ‘melting faster’

BBC News (06/14/2002)

Alaska, No Longer So Frigid, Starts to Crack, Burn and Sag

NY Times (06/16/2002)

Astronomy and Space

Autographing Asteroids: Japanese Spacecraft to Plant Names in Space (06/12/2002)

Asteroids bear birthmarks

Nature (06/13/2002)

CONTOUR’s Tale Of Two Comets

Space (06/14/2002)

Spacewatch Friday: The Dragon: How One Constellation Got Its Name

Space (06/14/2002)

UMass Astronomers Exploring How Exploded Stars Are Swept Back Into The Universe

ScienceDaily (06/17/2002)

Environment and Nature

Saving the Potato in its Andean Birthplace

National Geographic (06/10/2002)

Fossils point to asteroid causing dinosaurs’ demise

NewScientist (06/11/2002)

Smog crop damage costs billions

NewScientist (06/11/2002)

Balloons burst ozone myths

Nature (06/12/2002)

Endangered African rhino populations on the increase

NewScientist (06/12/2002)

Seed money for future food

Nature (06/13/2002)

Elusive Snow Leopard Seen in Rare Photos

National Geographic (06/14/2002)

Volcanoes Loom as Sleeping Threat for Millions

National Geographic (06/14/2002)

One quarter of world’s Rockhoppers "might have starved"

NewScientist (06/14/2002)


Politics and Commentary

Political  Commentary

(L = Left; R = Right)


American Prospect
(L) (L)

Mother Jones (L)

Nation (L)

National Review (R)

New Republic(LR)


Reason (LR)

Slate (L)

Smirking Chimp (L) (L)

Town Hall (R)

Weekly Standard(R)

WorkingForChange (L)

Favorite Columnists

Art Buchwald

Maureen Dowd

Molly Ivins

Robert Novak

Robert Scheer

News Periodicals


New Yorker




The Weekly Rant

  • Summer of All Fears.  Maureen Dowd hits the nail and the Attorney General on the head in this excellent Op-Ed article.
  • The Ashcroft slump. Robert Novak.  Brother Novak points out that the antics of the Attorney general is causing concern to the Whitehouse and the stock market.

  • How Big Tobacco nicked terror act.  The "patriot" Tom Delay made a nice exception to the patriot act for his good friends in the tobacco industry.  Hey we don’t want the world to find out what sleaze tactics big tobacco uses in the other countries.

  • We won’t deny our consciences.  A letter from various entertainment/arts people against the current direction of this war on terrorism.

We Have Nothing to Fear But John Ashcroft Himself

Threat of ‘dirty bomb’ softened Ashcroft’s remarks annoy White House

Kevin Johnson, USA Today (06/12/2002)

Ashcroft Hypes a Dirty Bomber: Big, Bad John

James Ridgeway, Village Voice (06/12/2002)

Dirty Bomb Tricks [foreign press reaction]

June Thomas, Slate (06/12/2002)

John Ashcroft: Minister of Fear

Dick Meyer, CBSNews (06/12/2002)

. . . And the Building

Richard Cohen, Washington Post (06/13/2002)

Defusing the hype surrounding ‘dirty bomb’

Mark Jurkowitz, Boston Globe (06/13/2002)


The Best of Enemies?

Tom Friedman, NY Times (06/12/2002)

Daughters of America: Saudi Arabia holds U.S. citizens hostage. Will President Bush demand their freedom?

Featured Article, OpinionJournal (06/13/2002)

Our New Ally: Eritrea could play a vital role in an Iraq attack

Joel Mowbray, National Review Online (06/10/2002)

Commentary of the Week

Expanding Without Managing

JEFFREY SONNENFELD, NY Times (06/12/2002)

The ‘Big Ear’ Gone Deaf

William Safire, NY Times (06/13/2002)

Plutocracy and Politics

PAUL KRUGMAN, NY Times (06/14/2002)

Along Via Ferlinghetti, the Beat Goes On

George F. Will, Washington Post (06/14/2002)

Citizens, Combatants and the Constitution

L.H. Tribe, NY TIMES (06/16/2002)

Bush Administration

Even Tougher Love for Welfare Moms

BRUCE FULLER, LA Times  (06/11/2002)

Fleischer: Bush Didn’t Read EPA Climate Report

Guardian (06/11/2002)

Dirty Bombs and Civil Rights

Editorial, NY Times (06/12/2002)

British security sources raise doubts over US claims about ‘dirty bomber’

Sengupta and Buncombe, Independent (06/12/2002)

Tax-Cut Cynicism

Editorial, NY Times (06/13/2002)

Detaining Americans Part1

Editorial, Washington Post (06/11/2002)

Detaining Americans Part2

Editorial, Washington Post (06/13/2002)

Not in Haste [Homeland Security Changes]

Editorial, Washington Post (06/14/2002)

It’s [Homeland] a creepy, morale-sapping word. Let’s drop it.

Mickey Kaus, Slate (06/14/2002)

Red Faces in White House Over ’02 Analysis

ELISABETH BUMILLER, NY Times (06/14/2002)

White House Seeks a Change in Rules on Air Pollution

K. Q. SEELYE, NY Times (06/13/2002)

The Truman Show

David Greenberg, Slate (06/13/2002)

Mideast (Cont.)

Only the U.S. Can Bring About Peace in the Middle East

Hubert Vedrine, Washington Post (06/17/2002)

Internet Weekly Report First Issued on 12/15/2001,

Copyright Internet Weekly  2001 and 2002.  

The opinions expressed here are my own. 

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