No Bribe Left Behind

WASHINGTON (IWR Parody News) – President Bush this evening said he was still proud of his payola policy, which enabled the Education Department to pay conservative columnist Armstrong Williams $240,000 to promote the administration’s No Child Left Behind program.

“I can’t understand why the liberal press has gotten its tit in ringer again over my payola policy.

After all, this policy has its origin in the Bible.

You know where it says: “God helps those who help themselves”?  Well, that’s the same thing as saying that you should never give a sucker an even break, right?

That’s how Poppy learned me anyway.

How the heck do you think I got things done as the governor of Texas?  It sure the hell wasn’t because I was such a nice guy!

Hell, that’s why we have the best Republican government that money can buy!

If you don’t believe me, then ask my best friend Tom Delay about how many palms you have to grease to get anything done back home,” said Mr. Bush to White House Press, who then swore a loyalty oath that they would only go after Armstrong Williams, and ignore the fact that the real problem is George Bush’s corrupt policy.

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