WASHINGTON (IWR News Parody) – After making several factual mistakes, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld admitted yesterday that he must have been brainwashed about 9/11 and the Saddam Hussein connection after all.
“I must have been friggin’ hypnotized or something. I can’t recall anymore. Did the President say Saddam was responsible for 9/11, or was it Osama, or was it that damn Korean guy with the bad haircut and Elton John sunglasses for crying out loud?
All I can remember are these ugly old ladies in the Rose Garden telling me that Saddam was Osama, Afghanistan was Iraq, War is Peace, and Freedom is Slavery.
It’s like a recurring nightmare to me, mainly because, the woman in charge of everything looked liked Richard Perle in drag. Gag me with spoonful of anthrax if you know what I mean,” said a distraught Rumsfeld.