CRAWFORD, TX (IWR Parody News) – Press Secretary Scott McClellan announced today that President Bush will undergo treatment early next month for his ongoing character disorder (scroll down for symptoms).
Mr. Bush will be treated as his home in Crawford by the local preacher and snake handler, Reverend Buford Lovejoy, who has a Masters Degree in Phrenology from the Tijuana Barber College in Mexico.
Mr. Bush recently met Lovejoy at a barbeque at a mutual friend’s house in Crawford and was impressed by the Reverend’s knowledge of Jesus, baseball cards and bumps on the head.
"I could tell right away from George’s heavily cratered head that he was suffering from a classic character disorder.
He’s cocky, arrogant, self-centered, impulsive and never seems to learn from his mistakes at all.
No matter how many times he hits his head on the pavement, he still gets back on his mountain bike does it all over again!
Well if George progresses like my average patient, he should recover about the time he receives my first bill or when I move on to blood letting phase of therapy," said Lovejoy as the rattle snake in his hands hissed at reporters.
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Internet Weekly Report First Issued on 12/15/2001, Copyright Internet Weekly Report 2001-2004.