Fed Raises Key Interest Rate As Pork Hits 90$ A Barrel
WASHINGTON (IWR News Parody) – The Federal Reserve today raised its benchmark interest rate by a quarter percentage point citing the inflationary rise in the price of pork per barrel.
"In recent months, output growth has moderated and the pace of improvement of wage deflation in labor market conditions has slowed due to the rising costs of kickbacks for the defense, health care and oil industries to the Republican controlled Congress.
If we don’t constrain this inborn tendency towards avarice in the short-term, the President will have no choice but to either invade Russia and take control of their oil fields just like he did in Iraq, or God forbid, he may even have to cancel the tax cuts to balance the budget!
In order to keep the economy from tanking before our Republican cronies can be re-elected, we need our corporate friends to show some restraint with their bribery bidding wars, until at least after the election, when of course, all corporate lobbyists will be free to call in their ‘loans’ from the Republican controlled government," the FOMC said in a statement.
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Internet Weekly Report First Issued on 12/15/2001, Copyright Internet Weekly Report 2001-2004.