|SUGAR LAND, TX (IWR Satire)
-- House Majority Leader Tom DeLay accused leading Democrats on
Wednesday of "hate-speech" against his conservative supporters.
Texas, we don't eat that stinky French cheese that you liberal
sodomites love so much.
Down here, we eat real American food like barbequed whole hogs
stuffed with jalapeņo flavored Spam, MoonPies, and
Popsicles. And let's get one thing straight, we don't call it
cuisine. We call it grub.
And another thing while I'm at it, I wish you devil worshipping
liberals would stop your hate-speech about Republican inbreeding in my
Down here smarty pants, we don't believe in your evil-lution.
Shoot, we even have a special tax credit for conservatives who
marry their first cousins.
That's why we don't allow that Darwinian double-talk in our kids
Hell, if we let the schools teach those kind of lies, the next
thing you know people will start wanting to join labor unions and
So why don't you liberal extremist appeasement bastards get a clue
and leave this country, and go live with your hero, Fidel Castro, and
leave us good old boys alone," said a rather petulant Mr. DeLay.