Hollywood (IWR Satire) - Arnold
Schwarzenegger failed a DNA test required for all potential candidates
planning on running for governor in the State of California.
California state qualifications for governorship require that all
candidates be a member of the human race or
However, DNA tests ran at Cal Tech University on a saliva swab from Mr.
Schwarzenegger prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that the "Terminator"
actor is actually a member of
Homo sapiens neandertalensis. This Neanderthal subspecies
was thought to be extinct for over 20,000 years.
who announced his candidacy on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno, refused to answer reporters questions.
Although these test results rule out a run in California,
is still qualified to run for governor in the State of Texas. In
Texas it seems, even a chimpanzee can be governor.
Note: interested readers can decide for themselves which species
they think Mr. Schwarzenegger belongs to by taking the