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Rumsfeld Victim of Fowl Play

ROSWELL, NM (IWR Satire) - Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld was attacked by a giant chicken during a secret DoD weapon system demonstration today in Roswell, New Mexico.

Operation Poultry Warrior (OPW) is a secret new DoD system for protecting our borders from terrorists and illegal aliens. 

The system is based on the breeding and training of giant domesticated birds, which can, for just chicken feed it seems, patrol our borders.

Mr. Rumsfeld was viewing a demonstration of OPW when a giant chicken broke ranks and headed directly for the secretary.

After Mr. Rumsfeld was rescued, the director of OPW, Arnold Tyson, had this to say to reporters:  "Unfortunately, we have been unable to completely deprogram the giant birds tendency to attack their natural enemies*."

*skunks, weasels, snakes, etc.

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Internet Weekly Report First Issued on 12/15/2001,
Copyright Internet Weekly Report 2001-2003.

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