|ROSWELL, NM (IWR Satire) - Defense
Secretary Donald Rumsfeld was attacked by a giant chicken during a
secret DoD weapon system demonstration today in Roswell, New Mexico.
Operation Poultry Warrior (OPW) is a secret new DoD system for
protecting our borders from terrorists and illegal aliens.
The system is based on the breeding and training of giant
domesticated birds, which can, for just chicken feed it seems, patrol
Mr. Rumsfeld was viewing a demonstration of OPW when a giant
chicken broke ranks and headed directly for the secretary.
After Mr. Rumsfeld was rescued, the director of OPW, Arnold Tyson,
had this to say to reporters: "Unfortunately, we have been
unable to completely deprogram the giant birds tendency to attack
their natural enemies*."