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Ridge Issues Guinea-Zilla Alert

WASHINGTON (IWR Satire) -- Homeland Security Director Tom Ridge today issued a red alert after he was informed that giant guinea pigs weighing over 1,400 pounds may soon invade our southern border.

"Get out your duct tape, plastic sheeting and don't forget to line the floors of your dwellings with newspapers until the threat of Guinea-zilla has passed," said a nearly hysterical Tom Ridge.

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Parody Titles (All Text)

Internet Weekly Report First Issued on 12/15/2001,
Copyright Internet Weekly Report 2001-2003.

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