MONTGOMERY, Alabama  (IWR Satire) - Former Chief Justice Roy Moore, who was removed from the Alabama high court today, announced that he plans to open a Kool-Aid stand in Guyana.

"It seems like it was just yesterday when the lord called me on my cell phone, while I was shopping for Christian Rock music at Wal-Mart, and told me I needed to place his ten commandments into the hall of justice.

Then these secular humanist bastards charge that I violated the separation of church and state.  They also claim it was illegal for me to sentence witches to be burned at the stake. 

Can you believe that?

And now I'm sorry to say, Satan's minions have ousted me from my rightful position as Chief Supreme Court Justice of the Entire Universe. 

As soon as I heard the bad news, I called the lord on his emergency 900 number and asked him for guidance.

The lord told me: 'Roy, you must now go to Guyana and follow in the footsteps of Jim Jones. You must set up a Kool-Aid stand and a new People's Temple.  You must then build a village and call it Moorestown'. 

I must now go to Guyana and do the lords work," said a bug-eyed Mr. Moore.