MONTGOMERY, Alabama (IWR Satire)
- Former Chief Justice Roy Moore,
who was removed from the Alabama
high court today, announced that he plans to open a Kool-Aid stand in
"It seems like it was just yesterday when the lord
called me on my cell phone, while I was shopping for
music at Wal-Mart, and told me I needed to place his
into the hall of justice.
Then these secular humanist bastards charge that I
violated the separation of church and state. They also claim it
was illegal for me to sentence witches to be burned at the stake.
Can you believe that?
And now I'm sorry to say, Satan's minions have ousted
me from my rightful position as Chief Supreme Court Justice of the
As soon as I heard the bad news, I called the lord on
his emergency 900 number and asked him for guidance.
The lord told me: 'Roy, you must now go to Guyana and
follow in the footsteps of Jim Jones. You
must set up a Kool-Aid stand and a new
Temple. You must then build a village and call it
I must now go to Guyana and do the lords work," said a bug-eyed Mr.