"First of all I want to assure the American people that I am not a crook, and I do not have a so-called credibility gap.  I know for a fact that Saddam had WMD in 1988 when he was our ally.  Rummy's even got pictures!  See I'm not as stupid as I look.

Well to get to the bottom of all this missing WMD junk, Karl says we should just drain the whole friggin' gulf.  He figures that should keep y'all busy until after the election.  Hell, Ashcroft thinks we might even find Atlantis down there!

Anyways, I hereby order the FBI to drain the entire Persian Gulf," said President Bush to reporters during his cabinet meeting.