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Gene Linked To Poor Reasoning
Found In Conservative Senators

BALTIMORE, MD (IWR Satire) - Scientists at Johns Hopkins University today discovered that one form of a common brain protein makes conservative republican senators rather bad at reasoning things. 

Human intelligence is partly inherited - studies of parents and children show that about half our cleverness, or lack of it, is revealed by our political affiliation.

Senators who inherit the less common form of a serotonin receptor have worse reasoning powers than progressive people with the more common form.

Scientists suspect that eventually, a set of such mental genes will be identified that together make the difference between a clever brain and a  conservative republican one.

Neural Pathway Density

Dr. Howard, who led the Johns Hopkins study, explained the main difference between the conservative and progressive brain:

"The typical conservative senator, that we studied, had less than half the neural pathway density of his/her progressive counterparts. 

It is thought, that in order to compensate for this reasoning deficiency, conservative senators construct a simple binary cartoon-like world of good and evil and are unable to appreciate the nuances required for dealing with everyday realities."


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Internet Weekly Report First Issued on 12/15/2001,
Copyright Internet Weekly Report 2001-2003.

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