Human-Turkey Link Found
12:47 24 November 03
NewScience.com news service - IWR Satire
Cornell University have established that at least one human subspecies can trace
lineage to the common domestic turkey.
Professor Ernest Bilko and his research team at Cornell analyzed
samples of DNA taken from a colonic polyp from President Bush and a
from Rush Limbaugh both of which were removed during previous
The researchers then compared these DNA sequences with those from a
common domestic turkey, and were shocked to find that these two species
shared 85% of their DNA.
The team concluded that the human subspecies, Homo Sapiens
have evolved in part from humans breeding with turkeys.
theorize that Republicanus became a separate human subspecies during
the Hoover administration.
"We suspected there was a human-turkey relationship in a previous
study where we identified remarkable similarities between the
vocalizations of turkeys with those of conservative commentators like
Bill O'Reilly and Dr. Laura Schlessinger," said Dr. Bilko.