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IWR Photo Cartoon - Bush Declares Spotted Owls Enemy Combatants

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Bush Declares Spotted Owls to be Enemy Combatants

Washington (IWR Satire) - President Bush today declared that spotted owls are now "enemy combatants" of the US.

"In order to eliminate those tree-hugging Luddite trial lawyers from bringing about their frivolous lawsuits against my campaign contributor friends and preventing the clear cut harvesting of old growth forests, I hereby declare Spotted Owls and all other endangered species as enemy combatants of these here United States.

Attorney General John Ashcroft informs me that this means that spotted owls now have have no legal rights.  Therefore, you can't sue any of my logger golfing buddies.

Besides, have you ever tried to deep fry an owl?  Man I want to tell you, they taste just like Italian shoe leather, and I should know because I always seem to have my foot in my mouth" said Mr. Bush

Bonus 1 - Gale Norton's Spotted Owl Cookbook

Bonus 2 - President Bush Bonds With Washington's Inner City Youth

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Internet Weekly Report First Issued on 12/15/2001,
Copyright Internet Weekly Report 2001-2003.

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