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Bush Orders Cruise Missile Strikes
On National Parks and Forests

INSPIRATION ROCK, CO (IWR Satire) -- President Bush today ordered preemptive cruise missile strikes on our national parks and forests to prevent wild fires.

"Every year I try to take a  vacation in August, but can I play foosball like I should be doing?  No!  And you know why?  These goddamn trees keep catching fire, and it's really starting to piss me off.  I mean screw a bunch a trees for Christ sakes!

To end this problem once and for all, I have ordered preemptive cruise missile strikes on the Colorado National Forest and Yellowstone National Park. 

That will learn them damn polluting varmint trees a thing or two," said a visibly agitated Bush.

 

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Internet Weekly Report First Issued on 12/15/2001,
Copyright Internet Weekly Report 2001-2003.



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