Bush Orders Cruise Missile Strikes
On National Parks and Forests
INSPIRATION ROCK, CO (IWR Satire) -- President
Bush today ordered preemptive cruise missile strikes on our national
parks and forests to
prevent wild fires.
"Every year I try to take a vacation in August, but can I play
foosball like I should be doing? No! And you know why?
These goddamn trees keep catching fire, and it's really starting to
piss me off. I mean screw a bunch a trees for Christ sakes!
To end this problem once and for all, I have ordered preemptive cruise missile
strikes on the Colorado National Forest and Yellowstone National Park.
That will learn them damn polluting varmint trees a thing or two," said a visibly agitated