"Recent evidence has come to my attention which shows that Saudi Arabia, not Iraq, is strongly linked to 9/11. Now how the heck were we supposed to know that? 

No one told me this before either, but did you know that most of those crazy hijackers were from Saudi Arabia?

Also, it seems that the Saudi Royal Family and some Saudi businessman most likely contributed financial support to al Qaeda and the hijackers.  Can you believe that?

Intelligence sources also say the Saudi Royal Family is behind those so-called religious fundamentalists called Wahab, ah, baba ganoush, ah, Wannabes (Wahhabis).

You guys know what I mean, that group of towel heads that spew all that religious supremacy, hatred and violence. You know they influenced bin Laden and al Qaeda for example.  I can't tell you how surprised I was when I found that out!

Well now if that don't take the cake, it looks like those Wannabe folks are starting to fill a religious and political vacuum in liberated Iraq. How the Sam Hell were we supposed to know that would happen?

Some of those liberal cynics out there accuse this administration of intentionally trying to increase terrorism, but those pinkos are dead wrong.  We are not doing it intentionally! 

We can't help it if our lust for power and revenge created a blind spot which made us stretch the truth a bit and invade the wrong country," said Mr. Bush.