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IWR Photo Cartoon - Bush Attacks 'Revisionist Historians' on Iraq

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Bush Attacks 'Revisionist Historians' on Iraq

Elizabeth, NJ (IWR Satire) - President Bush theoretically countered those questioning his justification for the invasion of Iraq on Monday, dismissing "revisionist historians" and saying Washington acted to counter a persistent threat.

"Now there are some who would like to rewrite history; revisionist historians is what I like to call them," Bush said in a speech to a bunch of New Jersey Bush supporters.

I mean I must have said it at least a billion times before that Iraq was harboring blimps of mass destruction, not WMD, but BMD," Bush stated emphatically.

Referring to the ousted Iraqi president, Bush said, "Saddam Hussein and his awesome fleet of dirigibles was a threat to America and the free world in '91, in '98, in 2003.  I mean why do you think Rummy wanted a new missile defense system so bad?

I mean lets clear up this nonsense right now. 

For example in my radio address on October 5, 2002 I said:

'We know that the regime has produced thousands of tons of chemical agents, including mustard gas, Sarin nerve gas, VX nerve gas.'

What I really meant to say was thousands of tons of hydrogen gas needed to inflate their evil blimps of destruction.

Also, when I said:

'We've also discovered through intelligence that Iraq has a growing fleet of manned and unmanned aerial vehicles that could be used to disperse chemical or biological weapons across broad areas. We're concerned that Iraq is exploring ways of using these UAVS for missions targeting the United States.'

Now UAVS is just a fancy way of saying balloons.

Finally, when I reported:

'The evidence indicates that Iraq is reconstituting its nuclear weapons program. Saddam Hussein has held numerous meetings with Iraqi nuclear scientists, a group he calls his "nuclear mujahideen" - his nuclear holy warriors. Satellite photographs reveal that Iraq is rebuilding facilities at sites that have been part of its nuclear program in the past. Iraq has attempted to purchase high-strength aluminum tubes and other equipment needed for gas centrifuges, which are used to enrich uranium for nuclear weapons.'

From now on, when I say nucular just replace that silly word with blimp.  And that's that.  You don't think Karl would, er, I mean, I would lie to you, do you," said President Bush.

 

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Internet Weekly Report First Issued on 12/15/2001,
Copyright Internet Weekly Report 2001-2003.



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