TULIA, Texas (IWR Satire) --
President Bush yesterday paid tribute to Martin Luther King Jr. on the
forty year anniversary of his historic "I have a dream" speech (August
"Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. It was, ah, like forty years ago,
ah, Martin Luther King Jr. said ah, "I have a dream" or something like
I don't remember, because at that time I was doing too much
drinking, cheer leading and masturbating.
Of course, we didn't know segregation was wrong at the time.
I mean, after all, we had our drinking fountains, and they had theirs.
That seemed fair enough to me, but I was just kid.
Ah, ah, a lot has changed in this country since those old darkie
Today in this country, we don't judge a person on the color of
We don't judge him on his ability.
However, we do judge him on the size of his billfold!
The American people know that it is the value of a person's stock
and bond portfolio that really matters in this country and not his
The rules are simple. The more money a man has, the more rights he
has. What could be fairer than that?
For example, if one of you colored people wins the state lottery
next week, you would instantly move to the front of the line. You
could then afford to buy a $5,000 dollar plate dinner at one of my fund
raisers. You would then have instant personal access to me!
As the Republican president, it's my job to make sure that I
protect the rights of ALL the rich people in this country by lowering
their taxes and eliminating costly regulations that otherwise would
make their corporations accountable.
That's the real American way! That's the real American dream.
That's the one I have anyway," said Mr. Bush.