PORTSMOUTH, NH (IWR Satire) -- In an
effort to stem rising criticism and turn his sagging poll numbers
around, President Bush
today took what he called his "I'm OK - Iraq's OK" PR Offensive on the
road to Portsmouth, NH.
When I stood on the deck of the USS Abraham Lincoln and proudly
displayed my flight suit codpiece stuffed with Jenna's old bobby
socks, I said that the war was over, and I meant it.
Well sort of, anyway.
It was really was what Karl calls a president's poetic license.
You know like when I used it in my State of the Union speech about
nucular yellow cake, WMD, or my countless phony inferences linking
Saddam Hussein and 9/11.
Anyway, despite the fact that hundreds of soldiers and
civilians have died or been injured in acts of violence since May, I
want to assure the American people that everything
is really just peachy keen in Iraq.
Heck, the Iraqi people love us at least as much as they duz Israel,
and that's the gospel truth!
The Iraqi's even have a cute nickname for our occupation forces -
See they just love us over there! That's why we only need 87
billion dollars to keep them happy!
So next time, don't listen to those smart-aleck naysayers from that
news Filter at ABC, CBS, or NBC.
If you really want your news slanted, just point your browser to
whitehouse.gov, listen to my
radio broadcasts or watch Fox News where you'll always hear that I'm
OK and Iraq's OK. Thank you," said Mr. Bush.