|CRAWFORD, TX (IWR Satire) --
President Bush today explained the annual rise in Labor Day gas prices
as part of God's plan to reward loyal conservatives.
"When people ask me why gas prices always seem to rise on holiday
weekends, I tell them it's all due to the divine intervention of Lord.
He knows that the conservatives, who control the oil, gas and energy
reserves in this country, occasionally need a helping hand. He
knows these kind hearted conservatives would never price gouge the
American people on gasoline.
Shoot, if it wasn't for God naturally driving up gasoline prices on
holidays, prices could rise when demand was lower and then my campaign
contributors wouldn't be adequately compensated.
You see, God knows that. It's just the Lord's way of being
compassionate to conservatives," said Mr. Bush.