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Bush Administration Economic Forecasting Expose

WASHINGTON (IWR Satire) - Washington Post investigative reporter Bob Woodward, last night on Larry King Live, provided a rare glimpse into how economic forecasts are made inside the anally secretive Bush Administration.

Woodward gained access to a secret Treasury Department meeting by posing as an oil industry oligarch.

Here is the Larry King interview:

Larry King:  "So Bob do I understand you right?  You're not here to talk about the Lacy Peterson, Kobe Bryant or Arnold Schwarzenegger?"

Bob Woodward:  "No, Larry.  I was booked to talk about the shocking story of how economic forecasts are made in the Bush Administration, remember?"

Larry King:  "Oh.  I get it. That's why Nancy Grace isn't here yet."

Bob Woodward: "Anyway. I was quite surprised when Alan Greenspan unveiled this crystal ball, which he referred to as the 'Oracle of St. Louis'.

The crystal ball looked more like a snow globe with a resin bust of John Ashcroft to me, but what the heck do I know?"

Larry King: "Was Johnny Corcoran there?"

Bob Woodward: "No, but then Greenspan asked the globe if the Fed should lower interests rates again, and the oracle replied: 'The Limbo stick can go no lower!'. 

Greenspan then questioned the crystal ball on what the long-term economic outlook will be considering the effects of the Iraq war, the massive tax cuts and record budget deficits.

The globe then replied: 'The liberal soothsayer Krugman is Right. Bankruptcy! Snake eyes! Tilt!'.

Mr. Greenspan then said that he was glad that nothing had changed since the last quarter.

John Snow chimed in that it should be a piece of cake to run out the clock until at least after the 2004 election is over.

'When all the peasants find out how screwed they really are when their Social Security and Medicare benefits are cut, it will be too late,' said Snow with a sinister smirk.

The room then broke out into a hideous sounding diabolical laughter, and then, SEC Chairman Bill Donaldson handed out Cuban cigars and brandy snifters filled with cognac to everybody."

Larry King:  "So Bill do you think Scott Peterson is guilty?"

Bob Woodward:  "Who?"

Larry King:  "Thanks for you insights Bob, and don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out. 

We'll be right back with Nancy Grace, Britney Spears and Ken Starr with an in-depth and insightful analysis of Scott Peterson's wardrobe."


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Internet Weekly Report First Issued on 12/15/2001,
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