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IWR Photo Cartoon - Ashcroft Quarantines the Supreme Court

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Ashcroft Quarantines the Supreme Court

Washington (IWR Satire) - On orders from the President of the United States, George W. Bush, Attorney General John Ashcroft placed the U.S. Supreme Court under quarantine until further notice. 

According to Ashcroft, the majority of the Supreme Court has contracted a mysterious malady with symptoms similar to St. Vitas Dance.   The CDC has tentatively labeled the disease, the  "Liberal's Palsy".

"We knew something was a kilter when the justices ruled that University of Michigan Law school could have admission practices favorable to the Negro Race.  Then the unthinkable happened when the justices rendered the most uncharacteristically liberal of decisions by tossing out the Texas sodomy law, as if they actually believed in civil liberties!

As everybody knows, the President and myself take as gospel the missionary position between a man and a women, outfitted usually in a pastel colored pantsuit.

The thought of man on man sex is too disgusting, and I should know, I stay awake many a night thinking about the variations, only as a justice official understand," stated the Attorney General.

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Internet Weekly Report First Issued on 12/15/2001,
Copyright Internet Weekly Report 2001-2003.

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