WASHINGTON (IWR Satire) -- Attorney
General John Ashcroft
on Wednesday issued what he called 'Justice Department
Indulgences' to the entire
White House staff for any crimes that may have been committed since
"Today in my weekly broadband chat with Jesus Christ, I was told to
forgive the White House and all of its staff from any laws that may have
been broken and to give each person this special orange indulgence
'Forgive them John, my son, and don the vestments of the Archbishop
of Canterbury,' He typed to me in His moderated AOL chat room.
The Lord then told me to tell the press, and especially 'that
Krugman fellow', that there is no need for any independent
prosecutors," said Mr. Ashcroft.