NEW YORK, NY (IWR Satire) - Attorney General John Ashcroft and his deputies yesterday raided Christie's Action House for distributing pornography. 

Justice Department spokesman Mark Corallo said that such terrorist activities, as peddling pornographic pictures, are explicitly covered under the Patriot Act. 

In fact, Mr. Corallo also pointed out that Mr. Ashcroft could arrest anyone he damn well pleased except for Republicans of course.

Mr. Ashcroft then made a statement.

"The terrorists continue to distribute their decadent pornographic images under the guise of 'art'.

How could anybody call this disgusting painting of a giant pair of orange bulbous buttocks art? 

I mean how could anyone look at that painting not have vile thoughts about mounting that 'Reclining Nude' like some sort of depraved orangutan," said Mr. Ashcroft.