Houston (IWR Satire) -
Attorney General John Ashcroft announced this morning that FBI agents have arrested ZZ Top guitarist, Billy
Gibbons. Mr. Gibbons is suspected of having ties to al Qaeda based on a
TIPS lead provided by a UPS delivery man. The UPS driver,
Arnold Ruutel, told the TIPS switchboard that he met this "weird guy with a long
beard" when he delivered a package to a Mr. Gibbons residence.
"He looked a lot like Osama bin Laden to me, and besides that, his house
smelled funny too," the driver was quoted as saying to the TIPS operator.