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Rumsfeld Issues Home Run Derby
Challenge to Saddam Hussein

Donald Rumsfeld and Barry Bonds Hold a Press Conference

WASHINGTON (IWR Satire) -- Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld Wednesday outlined a scenario that could avert a war against Iraq: Saddam Hussein agrees to a home run derby competition with San Francisco Giants Outfielder Barry Bonds.  The match would be on pay TV with all profits used to support George Bush's 2004 presidential campaign.

"If Saddam wins, we'll let him stay in power.  If he loses, we get to drop a daisy cutter bomb on his forehead.  I mean what could be fairer than that," said Rumsfeld.

How realistic are the chances of Saddam accepting the Home Run Derby challenge?

"Only time will tell," Rumsfeld told reporters during a Pentagon briefing.

Internet Weekly Report First Issued on 12/15/2001,
Copyright Internet Weekly Report 2001-2003.

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