Washington (IWR Satire) - Disgusted with the news of the first cloned human being, President Bush today declared war on the Raelian Empire.  "The Raelians hate us cause of our freedoms, and we hate them because they are evil.  'nuff said", Bush told reporters.

A spokesperson for the Raelian empire, Field Marshall Gorner, said he looked forward to fighting Mr. Bush.  "The Raelian Death Ray will boil your tiny brains earthlings," said Mr. Gorner as he broke out into a diabolical laughter in a message broadcast around the world.

John Ashcroft then released this wanted poster (right) for enemy combatant Sidney "Vicious" Bonet, who was last seen in Windsor, Canada handing out cloned navel oranges in front of the Studio 4 strip club.