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Best of IWR - Larry King

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Larry King Interviews Elvis Presley

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Elvis in Heaven

Washington (IWR Satire) -  Larry King last night interviewed, the "King of Rock-N-Roll", Elvis Presley.   To accomplish this feat, channel Dionne Warwick was used as a sort of gateway connection to heaven.  Here are excepts of the interview from the CNN's Larry King Live!:

Larry King "So Elvis.  Can you tell the folks at home tonight what it's like to be dead?"
Elvis "It's kind of like when you go to sleep only you don't wake up.  Or have you ever watched those Saturday morning cooking shows on PBS?  That's real similar to being dead."
Larry King "I see.  So Elvis, did you have to spend any time in Purgatory or Limbo or anything like that?"
Elvis "You know Larry, the only big trouble I've ever been in was when I was stealing eggs when I was little tike. They made me spend three weeks in a sort of Purgatory listening to Pat Boone records just for that.   And I got two extra month's of suffering, because of that Charro! movie I made."
Larry King "Was it painful in purgatory?"
Elvis "A well'a bless my soul.  I said what'sa wrong with me?  I'm was itchin' like a man on a fuzzy tree.  It was like that Larry.  I just kept thinking, no more 'Viva Las Vegas' for me."
Larry King "Your so funny Elvis.  Have you seen anybody famous on the other side.  You know like Osama bin Laden."
Elvis "No.  Not yet anyway.  But then again, I usually don't hang out with the demon possessed pedophiles."  [Laughter]
Larry King "So Elvis, what do you miss most from your earth bound days?"
Elvis "I miss good food like hog jowls, pork chops, Cheese Wiz, pizza and country ham, creamed potatoes, stuff like that. Redeye gravy. It comes from ham, bacon, stuff like that. It's all the grease that you fry it in. I used to eat a lot of Jell-O. Fruit Jell-O. Mm mm mm, mm, yay, yay, yayMan those were the days."
Larry King "So Elvis do you like watch CNN up there?  I mean what do you think about this baseball strike business?"
Elvis "I thought the All Star Game sucked.  I mean how could they let the game end in a tie?"
Larry King "Well Elvis thanks for allowing us to do this interview.   I have always said that you are the greatest person that ever lived, but I say that about all my guests.  [Giggle]  Anyway, folks stay tuned and we will be right back with an interview with Abraham Lincoln as soon as I change Dionne's channel. [Yuck. Yuck.]

 

Internet Weekly Report First Issued on 12/15/2001,
Copyright Internet Weekly Report 2001-2003.

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