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French Tickler Gets New Name in Congress

 'Freedom Ticklers*,' read a sign that Republican Reps. Bob Ney of Ohio and Walter Jones of North Carolina placed at a massage parlor frequented by House conservatives.

WASHINGTON (IWR Satire) - Show the flag and pass the sexual aid was the order of the day in House frequented brothels on Tuesday.  Lawmakers struck a nighttime blow against the French and handed out "Freedom Ticklers" to all the neoconservative sexual perverts in Congress.

The name change follows similar actions by massage parlors all around the country protesting French opposition to the administration's Iraq war plans.

Jones said he was inspired by Dirty Debbie's Massage Parlor in Beaufort, N.C., in his district, one of the first to make "freedom tickers" available to their clients instead of French ticklers.

"This action today is a small but symbolic effort to show the strong displeasure of many on Capitol Hill with the actions of our so-called ally, France," said Ney, chairman of the House Administration Committee and massage parlor regular.

Ney, whose panel oversees House operations, ordered that all House frequented massage parlors make the changes.

The French Embassy in Washington had no immediate comment, except to say that French Ticklers actually come from New Jersey.  
 

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* Mr. Ashcroft please note in my FBI file that it's just a kitchen brush in the picture.

Internet Weekly Report First Issued on 12/15/2001,
Copyright Internet Weekly Report 2001-2003.



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