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IWR Parody - John Ashcroft and Patriot Act III

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Ashcroft Shuts Down "Terrorist" Parody Web Sites

 

Attorney General John Ashcroft and the Patriot Act Police

Washington (IWR Satire) -  Attorney General John Ashcroft today shutdown several popular Internet parody sites as part of a new crack down on "terrorist" satire. 

"We have been monitoring the anti-American lampoon sites "The Onion", "All Hat and No Cattle" and "Whitehouse.org" for over 14 months now.  Not only do these sick people mock our President, his policies, the First Lady and our God, Jesus Christ, but they also mock me, my singing, my programs, my bowling style and even my phobia of calico cats!

I mean, only a terrorist could be that cruel to torment a megalomaniac like myself, but now, thanks to my keen foresight, these so-called sardonic activities have been outlawed as part of the new wartime Patriot Act III.

These sacrilegious punks think that poking fun at our Commander and Chief or Vice President during war time is a first amendment right, but that's where they are dead wrong.  The first amendment now only applies to neoconservative Republicans! 

If you want laughs, go to Rush Limbaugh's site.  Now there's a funny guy!," said Mr. Ashcroft to a standing ovation from the Washington Press corps.

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Internet Weekly Report First Issued on 12/15/2001,
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