Washington (IWR Satire) - The
Secretary for Homeland Security has issued a "Spam Mail Advisory" to
"Intelligence sources have informed this department
that there is a lot of chatter out there indicating that terrorists
are planning to use a thing called 'Spam Mail' to overwhelm the US Postal Service.
Therefore, we are asking all Americans to be on the lookout for any suspicious
Arab looking people in their grocery stores with shopping carts filled
with cans of Spam.
It is our understanding
that these terrorists plan to flood the US Postal Service with their
heavy canned meat packages which may cause hernias to postal workers
and also will fill up our mailboxes with 'Spam Mail',"
said Secretary Ridge.