"Intelligence sources have informed this department that there is a lot of chatter out there indicating that terrorists are planning to use a thing called 'Spam Mail' to overwhelm the US Postal Service. 

Therefore, we are asking all Americans to be on the lookout for any suspicious Arab looking people in their grocery stores with shopping carts filled with cans of Spam. 

It is our understanding that these terrorists plan to flood the US Postal Service with their heavy canned meat packages which may cause hernias to postal workers and also will fill up our mailboxes with 'Spam Mail'," said Secretary Ridge.