The Year In Satire And Top Parodies Of 2005

January


He wrote the book

In January: Bush had his inauguration and speech, but he was still stinging from his earlier tsunami missteps, which gave us a hint of how he might respond to a real American disaster like Katrina; Bush tried to make up for his blunder by sending his brother Jetpack Jeb around the world; Rummy managed somehow to keep his job despite his remarkable bungling and incompetence; the under-reported Armstrong Williams scandal broke; Bush started his predictable assault on Social Security; the Iraqi elections were held; an Oklahoma farmer was executed for voting for Kerry; and the State of Nebraska dedicated Mt. Bushmore to the President.

The Carlyle Group released three new conservative movies: The Adventures of Jetpack Jeb, Twins, and Booshsputin - The Mad Monkey.

Most Hits:

1.  Profiles In Stupidity
2.  Twins
3.  Rummy's Self-Help Book
 

February


Invasion from the Hoover Institute

In February: AmericaBlog broke the story about the hooker-turned-reporter Jeff Gannon. The story put AmericaBlog into the Blogosphere hall of fame, but unfortunately, the story was largely under-reported in the mainstream press; Uncle Bucky had a major Iraqi windfall; Fredo crackdowned on PBS; Gabby Hayes got a temp cooking job at the White House; the Bush Administration issued the first state holy cards; Bush lauded Special Ops Cody during his SOTU speech and explained again why they hate us; and Bush became a lame duck president, and his place firmly sealed in the Dustbin of History.

The Carlyle Group released three new conservative movies: Devil Girl From Stanford, Terror From The Year 2,005, and The Thing From Planet Exxon.

Most Hits:

1.  Devil Girl From Stanford
2.  Bush Male Escort Connection
3.  Terror From The Year 2,005
 

March


Tom "The Orkin Man" DeLay

In March: A Bush Plan to outsource seniors to India was unveiled; Bush and Condi told a lot more fairy tales about the future of the Middle East; Karen Hughes returned from the dead; the Bush Administration continued its attack on wages and deficits; Bush made sweeping changes at the CIA; a CNN poll found that the majority of Americans thought Bush should have a lobotomy; Wolfowitz' tawdry love secret was exposed, and he was replaced at DoD by Lil' Kim; and Bush proposed a new faith based male escort training program to help rehabilitate wayward male hookers. 

The Carlyle Group released five new conservative movies: The Return of the Bride of Frankenchimp, The Low Wage Empire, Soylent Greenspan, Creature From The Federal Reserve, and Wolfie's Naughty Girl.

Most Hits:

1.  Satan's Pet Monkey
2.  The Orkin Man Cometh
3.  Bride of Frankenchimp
 

April


The next scream you hear
may be your Own!

In April: Laura Bush revealed her husband's barnyard sexual preferences; King George and Prince Abdullah tiptoed through the tulips; a new triple weird German pope was crowned; John Kerry explained his election loss; the FBI issued a reward for the Texas Talibans; Rush Limbaugh was forced to eat crow; Karl Rove's 2006 campaign playbook was found by Bob Woodward; and Bush's poll numbers really started to tank.

The Carlyle Group released six new conservative movies: The Birds, The Devil's Rejects, The Hills Have Eyes, Dawn Of The Dolts, The GOP's American Psycho, and Dubya Hood.

Most Hits:

1.  Polls Have Bush Down In The Dumps
2.  Karl Rove's "The Birds"
3.  The Pander Bear Eats Crow
 

May


Annie has her way with Awnold

In May: rumors about the President's failing mental health abounded in the Blogosphere (I thought these were just rumors, but then I looked close at Bush's face on TV, and it really was twitching!  Check Bush out next time he's on TV if you don't believe me.); Bush ran out of toilet paper; Norm Coleman was KO'd by George Galloway; Bush proposed replacing Medicare with a Wal-Mart pay-as-you-go solution; Bush continued his assault on logic and science, but seemed trapped in an infinite loop; and a new White House Plumber was exposed.

The Carlyle Group released five new conservative movies: Chicken Little, Lady Frankenstein, The Gay Ranchero, Swivel Hips and Yodeanbo.

Most Hits:

1.  The Religious Right's Golden Rule
2.  Tests Show Bush Is A Numbskull
3.  The Bush Doctrine In Action
 

June


Bush gets to "milk" his Hero

In June: the Memogate crisis exploded; Bush denied ever using any facts at all; Bush also denied he's worst president -- ever, but this survey of historians failed to support his claim; these Senate Republicans refused to condemn lynching; Bush called the Jackson toast, which was sold on eBay, 'An Omen Of Armageddon'; Bush's polls number continued to decline as the majority of Americans were unable to cope with the Bush Presidency; Bush misplaced the Bill Of Rights in Ohio; and CPB chairman Kenneth Y. Tomlinson introduced a new more manly PBS cooking show.

The Carlyle Group released seven new conservative movies: Dr. Cyclops, Mister Ed Does Crawford, I Was a Teenage Neocon, Reefer Madness, Karl Rove's GOP Freaks, Bolton's Pendulum, and The Incredible Shrinking Moron.

Most Hits:

1.  Bush Denies He's Worst President Ever
2.  Majority Unable To Cope With Bush Presidency
3.  Memogate

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