Best of IWR - The King James Version of the Bill of Rights
|Parody and Humor Archive|
Bush Signs into Law the
Washington (IWR Satire) - Flanked by the bill's authors, Attorney General John Ashcroft and Senator Orrin Hatch, President Bush signs an imperial edict making the King James version of the Bill of Rights official.
"This enhanced version of the Bill of Rights corrects the mistaken liberal belief that the Founding Fathers really wanted to have a separation between Church and State. What they really meant to say was that we needed a separation between Science and State. This new interpretation comes from the highest self-appointed moral authority in the universe, William Bennett.
Also, in this King James version of the Bill of Rights, we have eliminated those rights deemed unnecessary by Attorney General John Ashcroft and Senator Orrin Hatch. I mean only a criminal, terrorist or traitor would want to keep the fourth, fifth and sixth amendments. In fact to keep things simple, the King James Version of the Bill of Rights will only retain the following two rights:
The American people know that I only have their best interests at heart and that this amendments cut, just like my tax cut, will reduce their personal rights burden," said Mr. Bush.
Internet Weekly Report First Issued on
Copyright Internet Weekly Report 2001-2003.
Site Page Views