Best of IWR - Senator Robert Torricelli

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Torricelli Refuses to Give Back Earrings

Senator Torricelli

Edison, NJ (IWR Satire) -- In televised apology reminiscent of Richard Nixon's famous checkers speech, Senator Robert Torricelli last night expressed regret to New Jersey voters for accepting bribes from David Chang. "While it was never my intention to get caught, and the fact that I didn't know I was violating those stupid Senate rules, the simple fact is I did violate some out-dated rules on kick backs or something and I owe you an apology for it.  However, I refuse to return these simple but elegant earrings," Torricelli said.