Best of IWR - Parody News Captions 2002 |
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IWR Satire |
Lott Denies Global Warming Effect
Senator Lott
Washington (IWR
Satire) - Senator Trent Lott today denied on Fox News that his
melting head has anything to do with global warming.
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Bob Barr Blames Clinton for Election Loss
Bob Barr Washington (IWR Satire) --
Representative Bob Barr today blamed his primary election defeat on former President Bill
Clinton. "If he would have kept his damn love tackle in his pants, I would have
won this election by a landslide," said Barr. |
Ogg Vorbis Heirs to Sue
Open Source Project
Ogg Vorbis |
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Pat Robertson
Admits
He's Satan
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| Helsinki, Finland -- Relatives of the original Ogg Vorbis are suing the
open software project, who just released a new audio compression format, for using their
ancestors name without permission. Why didn't they use someone else's name like
Hedda Gabler or something," said Alvar Vorbis in phone interview with IWR. |
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Virginia Beach, VA -- Pat Robertson today
announced shocked devotees that he is really Satan. Pat was forced to admit he
was Satan after the numbers 666 appeared spontaneously on his forehead. "I knew
after I bought that race horse that something was up." said Mr. Robertson. |
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World's First
Self-Service Enema Machine
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Dibley, OH -- The world's first self-service enema machine
has been un-veiled by Dibley Bots, Inc. According to the manufacturer, the ailing
patient only needs to insert their credit card into the reader and then start the enema
initialization process. The first unit is expected to be installed in the local
Dibley Wallgreen's.
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Master Race
is
Kind of Porky
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| Tazewell, Tenn -- Several Nazis marched in support of
free beer and pizza for chunky intolerant white people (CIWP). |
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Ashcroft Issues
Evil Bird Alert
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| Washington -- Attorney General John Ashcroft issued an
orange security alert yesterday when he noticed a suspicious gang of Satanic seagulls
flying in under the radar near the Capitol Building. |
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Cardinal Comes
Out of the Closet
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| New York -- Cardinal Edward Egan comes out of the
transvestite closet sporting a fashionable bright red Hawaiian luau dress. |
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| Dr. Demonstrates Artificial
Insemination Cloning Technique Using His Nose |
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Parma, IT -- Using his
finger and nostril, Italian fertility specialist Severino Antinori
demonstrates how he performed artificial insemination as part of his "successful
human cloning" operation in Italy.
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| Spelling Bee |
Bush Meets Teletubbies |
One Potato |
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Beirut -- Prince Saud
al-Faisal is disappointed after Losing the Annual Arab Summit Spelling Bee to
Muammar Qaddafi in Beirut. |
Crawford, TX --
President Bush welcomes the Teletubbies to
Crawford, Texas. The President stated "Tinky Winky and Dipsey are like just too
cool man." |
Boise -- Colin Powell
explains how policy decisions are made in the Bush Administration. "Basically,
we use 'The One Potato, Two Potato' method" |
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Bush Administration Parody News Captions
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